The Aroma of Roma, pt. 9

We kissed, and Audrey said, "Well, I hate to be rude, but I'd better get home and fix the place up for ya." She chuckled, we said our goodbyes, and I walked her to the door, all the while remembering our arrangement: I had invited her to my house, and she saw it as only proper to invite me to hers. We had arranged to meet in the park at 10:30 the next night, and she headed on back home, probably to prepare; I anxiously awaited our next meeting, as well as seeing her house. There was little use in denying it at this point: I was in love with Audrey. She was cute, even though she was somewhat fat, very gassy, horribly smelly, and awfully gluttonous. Another originally frightening thought raced through my mind, though it was barely frightening now; perhaps it was those things that were the reason I was attracted to her. Actually, I was certain that those things drew me to her. And, as weird as that was to most people (though no one knew about her except for me, at least, I hoped), it was weirder still that I LIKED that thought...

All that night and all the next day, every other thought that crossed my mind was of Audrey. I found myself staring at the clock much more often than usual, and thought that 10:30 p.m. would never come. Since the park was about a 15-20 minute walk from home, I figured I would leave by 10:00 in case something happened; I played some games and watched TV for a good portion of the day, and when 10:00 finally came, I was thoroughly elated. I made sure to pick up and put on my watch prior to heading out. Locking up again, as usual, I walked towards the park and happened across a box of matches that someone had tossed carelessly on the sidewalk. I decided to pocket it, thinking it might come in handy later, though for what I wasn't entirely sure. Around the entrance to the park, I found a slightly wet $20 bill; I wasn't about to let it just sit there, so I picked it up, dried it off, and placed it in the opposite pocket from the match box. My luck seemed to be rather good tonight, but, looking at my watch, I realized something that worried me a bit: Audrey had not specified WHERE in the park we would meet! What would she say if I were late? And how would I even know where to find her?

Sniffing the air, hoping to pick up even the slightest trace of Audrey's horrid (though oddly pleasing) stink, I finally saw her arrive, right on time, though her smell had significantly lessened since she had left my house, and her fur seemed to have been combed a little. This perplexed me, though I guessed, in my head, that she had cleaned up to appear more presentable to me. Perhaps, though, she was aware that I liked her smell, her habits, everything about her, and perhaps she was not; however, her actions throughout our friendship had strongly suggested the former was true. We were definitely glad to see each other, though; we rushed forward and hugged as if we hadn't seen each other in years. My body was gently pressed against her soft, warm belly, which I took the opportunity to rub gently. Audrey smiled, hugging me a bit tighter and letting out a moderately loud *BURP*. "Oops!" she said. "Pardon me!" The skunk giggled and kneaded her plump gut with one hand. Smiling as well, I said, wrapping my arms around her, "You're excused, beautiful."

We then heard faint voices, and they seemed like they were arguing. Upon further inspection, we found that the voices belonged to a small group of gang members, about 6 or 7 of them, with 3 or 4 on each "side"; apparently, there was some sort of fight going on between these gang-bangers...and then one of them saw us. He was carrying a crowbar; another held a switchblade knife, and the others were unarmed. "Hey!" the gang member yelled out in our direction. "What're you two doing out here?" The other fighters turned and looked our way, too, then began to advance slowly towards us, chuckling menacingly; some of them murmured amongst each other, saying things like, "Heh, he's a dead man," or, referring to Audrey, "What IS that? Haven't seen it before..." "Don't ya know it’s dangerous out here?" one of them said. The one with the crowbar brandished it, and growled, "Enough chitchat; you got any money?" Not wanting to draw attention to the twenty in my pocket, I replied simply, "Nope, sorry. None." The crowbar-holding thug, apparently one of the gang leaders, chuckled in a sinister tone. "Gee," he said, "that's too bad. Boys?" Two of the thugs, as well as the leader, surrounded me, while some other members of what appeared to be a rival gang stood around, growling and agreeing that they'd take over what was left of me.

I was truly afraid at this point. I'd never been in trouble with a gang in my life, so this incident caught me by total surprise; then, Audrey uttered a few words I didn't think I'd ever hear from her: "'Scuse me, does anyone have a light?" She was fumbling around in her pockets, apparently looking for something, while the gang leader turned away from me to face her. He looked around, and his "boys" shook their heads. "Nah, sorry, babe; we don't." Curious, I blurted out, "I do." At that moment, EVERYONE'S eyes fixed on me; I slowly walked up to Audrey's side, and gave her the pack of matches I had found. The skunk grinned, and said, "Thanks; yer a pal." The thug brandished his crowbar again, and said, "Okay, lady, you've got your light. And as for you..." He turned to me again, pulling me back to the middle of the "ring", while he and his friends slowly advanced towards me. "Lemme show you what happens to guys who mess with us!"

Suddenly, a blast of fire shot forward past us, nearly hitting the leader, but heating up his crowbar to a point at which he wasn't able to hold it. He yelled in pain, dropping the now super-hot crowbar on the ground. This frightened his followers a bit, who shouted, "Leo! You okay?!" Flustered, the leader snarled in my direction, "This ain't over, not by a long shot..." He walked away, occasionally looking over his shoulder at us. The rest of his gang followed, and the other gang, nervous about the fire, had already run off, but not without shouting incoherently. A roar of laughter was then heard, and as I turned, I saw Audrey standing there, holding her tail like one would hold a tommy gun, the pack of matches held between two of her fingers. Strangely, it seemed that no one's eyes were on her during the latter half of the encounter, which had proven advantageous to her. Stunned, amazed, and utterly confused, I said, "Um...what just happened?"

The skunk replied, "Eh, I see gang-bangers out here sometimes; if I happen to have any matches on me when I see them, I just like to scare 'em off sometimes with a lil' flame. Frankly, I can't stand 'em; same with vandals. Always messin' everything up..." She laughed again, and said, "Nothing much to worry about; I'm okay, and seems like you are too." She giggled, and now I blushed; she had gone out of her way to save me. It was very kind of her, suggesting that she felt the same way about me that I felt about her...but I was able to make sense of her statement and understand her logic. "Ah... So that's why you asked for a light." Audrey nodded and said, "That's right. I don't smoke, personally; I think it's totally gross, and not in a good way." She chuckled at that last part, as did I; before I had met her, I didn't think there could even BE a "good way" to be gross. I replied, "Mm, I know what you mean. I don't smoke, either, for the same reason, not to mention how bad it'd be for me..." With our arms reaching around behind each other's backs, we headed towards a secluded area of the park, and a fairly small house came into view. "Well," Audrey said, "here we are: home, sweet home."