The Aroma of Roma, pt. 11

I walked down the path into the main area of the park, a warm smile on my face and the memory of Audrey’s kiss forever imprinted on my brain. That was a moment I didn’t ever intend to forget. Meanwhile, I was unaware that I was being watched...

The mysterious figure who was watching me spoke to herself, though, seeing as I was a good distance away, I couldn't possibly hear her. "He may not be a skunk, but he sure is a hunk!" She sighed and continued, "Le sigh... So he eez, how you say, into that sort of thing, non? Well, then, fear not, mon cher; Fifi la Fume eez here to satisfy! Though, I must say, I will miss zis figure..." She giggled, looking down at her slender form, then hopped out of the bushes and into the nearest supermarket, buying some of the most fattening and gassiest foods found anywhere; she was apparently ready to take drastic measures to get me to like her. Returning to her home, she began to pig out on most of her recent "acquisitions", putting on a considerably large amount of weight. "Soon, my totally awesome beau, you will be MINE!" she declared, between large mouthfuls of food. She then slowly got to her feet, squeezed through her front door, and waddled out along the streets, albeit with some difficulty, hoping she'd run into me at some point.

As I headed home from the park, I couldn't help but think. I thought about how lucky I was to have met Audrey, and also about how lucky I was that she agreed to be my girlfriend. Our love for each other was truly one for the ages, it would seem...

Not far from my house, I saw her: Fifi la Fume, the cute purple cartoon skunk with a pink ribbon in her hair, which fell down over one eye. Her belly protruded from the rest of her like an over-inflated beach ball, though it wasn’t near as big as Audrey's, and her smell, which was infamous, was remarkably strong, and awfully unpleasant (to most, anyway), but again not exactly as strong as that of Audrey. Still, she was rather plump, and seemed as cheerful and amorous as ever. "Bonjour, mon amour," she stated in her dainty voice, letting out a rather large *UUUURRRRRP* afterwards; it was my suspicion, however, that she wasn't used to having all that extra weight, since she seemed to be slightly off balance, and the burp nearly swept her off her feet. Since she had eaten so many different foods, her breath smelled quite odd; it was a very unpleasant smell, but, again, I didn't mind it at all. Putting a hand to her mouth daintily and blushing, she said, "Oops! Excusez-moi!" She giggled, and waddled over to me as quickly as she could (which was rather quickly, actually) and wrapped me up in her tail, attempting to plant several big kisses on my face.

None of those kisses, actually made contact; if Audrey found out about this, I'd have some explaining to do... As much as I admired her enthusiasm (not to mention her gassiness and her jiggly belly), my heart belonged to Audrey. I told Fifi this, and tried to escape from her almost-Herculean grip. Fortunately, I succeeded in "escaping", and Fifi appeared crestfallen. She hung her head and said sadly, "Le sigh... Alone again, naturellement..." The sad skunk began to waddle away, her belly gurgling softly with every step. "Wait!" I called after her, running towards her; Fifi turned around, a couple of tears still in her eyes. I smiled and said, "We can still be friends," to which she replied, "Oui, friends!" It seemed to cheer her up considerably, and she smiled; her eyes dried up a little, and she had stopped crying. "Merci beaucoup, monsieur; I would be happy to be your friend!"

Fifi's belly gurgled louder than before, and, grunting, she lifted her tail. The plump skunk then squeezed out a very large, loud, foul *BBBBRRRRRMMMMMPPPPFFFFFF!* from her rear, after which nearly her entire face went beet red. "Oh my," she simply said, "excusez-moi..." I chuckled and responded softly, "You're excused, Fifi, any time. I don't mind it at all, actually." She smiled again, some of the blush fading. "Thank you again; I hope to see you again soon, monsieur...um... What eez your name again?"

"Jordan," I replied, "and I hope to see you again soon as well, Fifi." The purple skunk grinned, and nodded. "Au revoir for now, mon cher!" she called, and walked away merrily. I could barely believe my good fortune; I had just talked with Fifi la Fume! Then again, she WAS Audrey's cousin. I smiled, heading home again; the days kept getting better and better! Audrey and I were destined for each other, it would seem...and I knew that nothing would ruin this day.